My Breastfeeding Journey

When I was still pregnant, I was caught in the middle of deciding on whether to breastfeed my child or not. In fact, I never gave it much thought and never made advanced research to ready myself for the challenge. I called it a challenge because it definitely was - at the start, that is. I was pretty much confident that we would breeze through it like it was automatic. I was apparently wrong.

My child was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) on the second day after she was conceived and stayed there for 7 days. Day and night, I religiously pumped to establish my supply, brought her my milk and allowed her to latch. Each time I visited, she always slept and I thought it was a sign that she was well-fed and that she was just so comfortable in my presence. I later found out that it was important to let her latch during every visit. When we finally went home, the struggle was absolutely real. She didn't want to latch and only wanted the bottle. Though I was assuaged by the fact that she was still drinking my milk, I was left sleepless wondering what I should do to have her latch onto me. Day in and day out, I endured chafed nipples, engorged breasts, and back pains. I did extensive research during my waking hours and dreamed of a better breastfeeding relationship with my child when asleep. I cried, felt frustrated, irritated and, as a new mom, confused. Why is this happening to us? It dawned on me that this was never easy after all. I hoped for the day when it would all be easy-peasy, when our struggles would turn into the image we all see on TV - mother and child all cozy on a rocking chair, baby asleep and mother smiling, the room bright and cheerful.

Through my research, I read testimonies of mothers enduring the same struggles as I did. Some had to endure for a short while, others had to endure quite a long time but eventually came out of it successful. Others weren't so "lucky"; they gave up trying altogether. These testimonies gave that light at the end of the tunnel. Luckily for me too, during those times, my husband was there in every step of the way. He was awake when I was, even in the middle of the night. He comforted me, held me and spoke encouraging words. It was comforting to know I have a husband who values breastfeeding as much as I do. When I felt like giving up, he made me ask myself why I wanted to pursue breastfeeding in the first place. All the support pushed me to surpass the trials and after roughly 3 weeks of struggle, we made it through. I woke up one morning to find that she latched naturally and there was zero pain, like the struggle never actually happened. Giving the bottle was apparently the mistake we did. It would have been the end of a wonderful relationship between me and my child have we not remedied the wrong early on.

Now, 25 months in and we're still going strong. I don't have plans of stopping anytime soon. People may throw their doubts at me, but I couldn't care less. There may have been sleepless nights, shortage of patience, limited clothes to wear, but I wouldn't trade it for the strong bond we share as a family and the excellent nutrition I'm giving my child. This journey is all worthwhile.

How about you? What's your breastfeeding journey story? 🙂