Mothering Myself
Motherhood is such a subjective term. I mean, you ask each and every mother you encounter and they would most likely say that it’s great, it’s a blessing, it’s such a fulfilling experience, but behind that happy veil lies a multitude of emotions. In the day-to-day adventure we mothers face, there are always ups and downs. It is a given, though. Taking care of one tiny human being is no small feat. Newborns cry, toddlers scream, teenagers complain. In each and every stage of your growing little darling comes a new package of surprises just waiting for you to unravel.
But, of course, mothering is a learning process. I remembered the moment my daughter was delivered. I strained to hear her cry and felt relieved. And then when she was put on my chest, it felt... strange. I knew what we were going to name her but I ended up just weakly saying, “Hi, baby.” Imagine that. Months of waiting and talking to her while still in my tummy and all she gets is a general greeting from her supposed elated and excited mother. All she got was a groggy woman who’d rather sleep than bond with her. That was apparently the last of my solo sleeps. Being a mother meant sacrifices and sharing.
I always imagined the newborn stage to be a quiet, restful period. She would just sleep most of the time and I would just get busy when she wakes for feedings, diaper changes and bathing. I imagined a placid month. Never had I imagined it to be as erratic as the weather. One moment she’s asleep like an angel, the next minute she’s bawling her lungs out. During the first few weeks, I was absolutely clueless and lost like a deer in headlights. When she was just a few hours old, we removed her swaddle because we thought she was warm hence the intense crying, when she was really cold all along; then, we wrapped her up snuggly one warm night making her temperature rise and giving her a fever. Looking back, I could just laugh at myself for being so ignorant. But being a mother meant righting our wrongs for our children and improving as a person.
Before we knew it, my daughter started giving us smiles and playing with us. Here came the crawling-standing-walking stage that made many a backs tired. I wanted her to walk but I dreaded the times she’d ask me to guide her. I found I didn’t enjoy the experience as much as she did, but we still had to do it. I still had to be there to catch her falls, to teach her that you can get up after every fall, that the only way you can go after hitting rock bottom is up, that each fall is part of practice and learning, and to encourage her. Being a mother meant being a teacher and a friend.
With her growing body came her growing personality and wit. Now that she’s a toddler, it takes great patience each and every day. Her wants may not be the same as her needs as when she was still an infant, so handling this tug-of-war everyday is really a part of the adventure. She’s starting to outwit us with her charm and it elicits different emotions day by day. I just have to find my inner peace to handle each situation lovingly. After all, we are trying to raise kind, compassionate and God-fearing human beings, and it starts with us by setting a good example. Someday, we would be raising a schoolchild, a young adult, a teenager. Surely, more surprises are on the way, more adventures, more ups and downs, but we look forward to that. We’ll just take it one day at a time with joy and optimism.
So, when you hear the saying that mothering comes naturally, think again. It is a long-term learning process where you emotionally, spiritually and intellectually grow as your child grows. You are there to mother your children, but you also mother yourself. ❤️
But, of course, mothering is a learning process. I remembered the moment my daughter was delivered. I strained to hear her cry and felt relieved. And then when she was put on my chest, it felt... strange. I knew what we were going to name her but I ended up just weakly saying, “Hi, baby.” Imagine that. Months of waiting and talking to her while still in my tummy and all she gets is a general greeting from her supposed elated and excited mother. All she got was a groggy woman who’d rather sleep than bond with her. That was apparently the last of my solo sleeps. Being a mother meant sacrifices and sharing.
I always imagined the newborn stage to be a quiet, restful period. She would just sleep most of the time and I would just get busy when she wakes for feedings, diaper changes and bathing. I imagined a placid month. Never had I imagined it to be as erratic as the weather. One moment she’s asleep like an angel, the next minute she’s bawling her lungs out. During the first few weeks, I was absolutely clueless and lost like a deer in headlights. When she was just a few hours old, we removed her swaddle because we thought she was warm hence the intense crying, when she was really cold all along; then, we wrapped her up snuggly one warm night making her temperature rise and giving her a fever. Looking back, I could just laugh at myself for being so ignorant. But being a mother meant righting our wrongs for our children and improving as a person.
Before we knew it, my daughter started giving us smiles and playing with us. Here came the crawling-standing-walking stage that made many a backs tired. I wanted her to walk but I dreaded the times she’d ask me to guide her. I found I didn’t enjoy the experience as much as she did, but we still had to do it. I still had to be there to catch her falls, to teach her that you can get up after every fall, that the only way you can go after hitting rock bottom is up, that each fall is part of practice and learning, and to encourage her. Being a mother meant being a teacher and a friend.
With her growing body came her growing personality and wit. Now that she’s a toddler, it takes great patience each and every day. Her wants may not be the same as her needs as when she was still an infant, so handling this tug-of-war everyday is really a part of the adventure. She’s starting to outwit us with her charm and it elicits different emotions day by day. I just have to find my inner peace to handle each situation lovingly. After all, we are trying to raise kind, compassionate and God-fearing human beings, and it starts with us by setting a good example. Someday, we would be raising a schoolchild, a young adult, a teenager. Surely, more surprises are on the way, more adventures, more ups and downs, but we look forward to that. We’ll just take it one day at a time with joy and optimism.
So, when you hear the saying that mothering comes naturally, think again. It is a long-term learning process where you emotionally, spiritually and intellectually grow as your child grows. You are there to mother your children, but you also mother yourself. ❤️
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