Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

Synopsis from Goodreads:

"In addition to the P-38, there are four gifts, one for each of my friends. I want to say good-bye to them properly. I want to give them each something to remember me by. To let them know I really cared about them and I'm sorry I couldn't be more than I was—that I couldn't stick around—and that what's going to happen today isn't their fault.

Today is Leonard Peacock's birthday. It is also the day he hides a gun in his backpack. Because today is the day he will kill his former best friend, and then himself, with his grandfather's P-38 pistol.

But first he must say good-bye to the four people who matter most to him: his Humphrey Bogart-obsessed next-door neighbor, Walt; his classmate Baback, a violin virtuoso; Lauren, the Christian homeschooler he has a crush on; and Herr Silverman, who teaches the high school's class on the Holocaust. Speaking to each in turn, Leonard slowly reveals his secrets as the hours tick by and the moment of truth approaches."

Recently I have been steering away from the young-adult genre since I feel as if I've graduated from those sort of stories - their background, the thoughts and emotions involved. Having no idea that this book belongs to the young-adult genre, I picked it to be my next to-read. 

With the case of murder-suicide and depression rolled into one, I was intrigued to know the reasons behind the planned act and the outcome of that act. Knowing that these instances have been happening quite often recently in foreign countries, with devastating consequences, I wanted to know the mechanisms that go behind a person for doing such horrible things. However, even with a possibly morbid result, I never expected to be so much affected with the protagonist in the story, bringing to light the thoughts that go thru a depressed teenager's brain. I was so absorbed in the story that I couldn't let go of my device and just stop reading. For the first time in a long time, this book brought tears and aroused wounded emotions. I empathized with the main character, and deep inside, I was hoping that he could still be saved. Although there are some parts in the book that seemed confusing or out of place, eventually the author brought the pieces together and let them fit perfectly with each other. 

It would suit people ages 18 and above as there are some sensitive areas involved in the story, which younger readers might find confusing and offensive. The book involved a lot of the sensitive topics that our society face nowadays and showed how we, as humans, are very unforgiving and judgmental of others. 

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock is such a nice  and inspiring story for people, whether teenagers or adults, who are battling depression. It helps give you strength and shed some realizations and words of encouragement for you to keep holding on and moving forward. It tells us to be brave but that we also need help at some point in our lives, all we have to do is ask, and we, in return, should be sensitive enough to extend help to those who need it. As simple as listening to them and offering our time would mean a lot to someone who's depressed, and we might even save their lives in the process. It just takes a look and a little smile, a note of acknowledgement that somebody still cares and they do matter. 

"Keep weeding, Dad.

Weed your mind.

And man the great light.

Even when no one is looking."